I think what people should know about foster children is that they're incredibly resilient. They've had to overcome massive obstacles in their lives, many of which nobody should ever have to deal with. Children who come into foster care are usually not there by choice, (i.e., their folks are struggling with issues that have put their children at risk).
These children are removed from their home and, in many cases, placed with foster families if no placements are possible with extended family and friends. They're asked to adapt to totally new environments---new home, new family, and often a new school where they might not know a single person. They're asked to trust a system that is designed to help keep them safe when all they want is to be home with their family.
Over the years, I've had youth say to me, "Why was I removed? I didn't do anything wrong."
For these reasons and many more, I hope people can appreciate how complicated it is for foster children to have to deal with everyday issues that are challenging enough for teenagers---without typical supports that many youth have in their bio homes---and try to sometimes cut them a little slack if they overreact to life events. I've often said, if I was dealing with their circumstances, I might not trust others or always make good decisions.
-Rich Farrell, LICSW, is Laraway's Assistant Director of Substitute Care
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